i'm driving too fast, i'm driving too far
by Pixiu
Summary: If you were to ask anyone in the whole world to name someone famous, you'd probably hear a variety of last names. And, perhaps, you'd find yourself hearing some names more than others. No matter where you go, where you travel, you'd hear the same names over and over again.
1. introduction

**a/n: Hello! Sorry for being late. I had a chapter, but decided it didn't quite fit the flow I wanted, so ended up coming up with this. Then, naturally, the Internet went down, so I couldn't post this. Probably not my favorite chapter to come up with (I forgot how hard writing can get), but I refuse to keep the original. The next chapter will be much longer, so don't think this length of a chapter will always be the length for the upcoming chapters.**

 **Anyways, enjoy!**

xxxxx

If you were to ask anyone in the whole world to name someone famous, you'd probably hear a variety of last names.

"Overwood."

"Biggles."

"Carma."

"Knighte."

"Piranha."

And, perhaps, you'd find yourself hearing some names more than others. No matter where you go, where you travel, you'd hear the same names over and over again.

(And though you may not recognize some of the names, the comments tagged along at the end are always a clue to the face behind the name.)

xxxxx

"I think it would be Ootori. Why do you ask?"

 _Some mumbling_

"Oh, alright. Just be careful."

 _More mumbling_

"I mean, I've heard that they are merciless. Takanishi's told me that no amount of descriptions or warnings could prepare him for the fear he felt when he met the guy face to face. I don't even know how he got through that meeting."

"I managed just fine, you know."

"Psh, as if. They said that you spent most of your time talking to the Fujioka-sama and Suoh-sama, just so you wouldn't have to talk Ootori-sama."

 _A question_

"Oh, the whole thing was about-get this-supplies for football. Not regular football. _American football_. Crazy, right?"

 _Another question_

"Hm, I think they were there because, apparently, American football is brain damage and a lawsuit just waiting to happen. Go figure. The person in that country who thought of calling American football _football_ of all things, and football soccer probably wasn't in the right state of mind."

xxxxx

If you ask around, you may find that some people are extremely defensive of their idols _and can you stop judging them?_

xxxxx

"Um, the Haninozukas?"

"Idiot! You can't mention the Haninozukas without talking about the Morinozukas. That is, like, sooo disrespectful to them! Do you know how much work the Morinozukas did? They are, legit, the classic story of the rise of the lowly servant to master of the house. The Cinderellas of the real world. I mean, they even married into the Haninozuka family! My god, I can feel the ignorance coming off of you in waves. I've always known that..."

"Sorry about her, mate. She doesn't _understand_ that you're allowed to talk about one person without mentioning the other."

"...it's like talking about Tom without Jerry. Daffy without Bugs. Thumper without Bambi. Patrick without Spongebob. Timothy without Dumbo. Piglet without Pooh. Pumba with-"

"She's pretty into cartoons, movies and that sort of stuff, if you couldn't tell. She has a reference to pretty much everything."

"Ugh! As if!"

"See what I mean?"

xxxxx

(There are others that are horrified by the slightest indication of being ill-informed of their gods.)

xxxxx

"Eh? I don't think I heard you quite right. You did not just say you've never heard of the Hitachiins before."

 _A pause_

"Ohmagawd, what the h-e-double hockey sticks is wrong with you? Like, do you live under a rock? How can I even be talking to someone so...so ignorant! I need to leave. I just can't, like, be _seen_ with losers like yourself."

xxxxx

But before we ask the most important questions that arise from situations such as these (like, whose last name is _Biggles_ for crying out loud?), let's take a closer look into the lives of the supremely wealthy.

Next stop: Ouran.


	2. ouran

**a/n: Hm, not too sure how OOC I've made the characters...**

 **Anyways, enjoy!**

xxxxx

Ouran Academy.

A, no, _the_ school for the elite.

To outsiders, it's paradise. Heaven, really, would probably be a better term to describe Ouran. It is the ultimate place for a young person to learn anything and everything, having some of the best teachers in the world on its staff. The food, naturally, is divine, and though the structure is not decked in gold and diamonds, it is magnificent. Money, after all, really can buy you anything. Once you were in, you were almost guaranteed a ticket to the life of luxury and happiness.

(But getting into Ouran is borderline impossible, and the last time someone passed the entrance exam? Well, let's just say that no one knows if it's even possible to enter Ouran without having the pedigree or money.)

To the students, it's a normal school and they are the normal teenagers with a normal life. Like any normal school, there was a hierarchy. Power was what defined your worth, and where else did that power come from but the parents of those absurdly wealthy students.

Of course, it goes without saying that if you happen to be friends with a student whose parents were insanely influential, you'd be higher up in the pyramid. Naturally, it was in one's best interest to get as close to those on top.

This Ootori Kyouya knew very well.

He was not blind to the incessant (and completely unsubtle) attempts his fellow students made in order to gain influence become friends with the heir of the Ootori Group. (Not that Kyouya knew whether or not he was indeed next in line in taking over his father's position, but he was pretty confident that his father would have to name him his heir.)

That was not to say that he was not amused by his classmates' attempts to become his friend. Logically, it did not make much sense, and Kyouya pitied the parents who had such idiotic children who would try to approach one of the more frigid teenagers of his group of friends and think that they would have a sliver of a chance.

Then again, his classmates never would have been able to become friends with any of them anyways.

It really was quite obvious.

Haruhi may have been oblivious in some aspects, but she understood how the average Ouran student thought and often chose to intentionally misinterpret her classmates' gestures. She was quite intelligent, after all.

Hikaru and Kaoru were themselves, and, although they were more open than they initially were as kids, they still met everyone with suspicion, always testing to see how sincere the attempts of friendships were. Only Kyouya and the rest of the Host Club passed (Haruhi with flying colors).

Mori tended to stay silent, and conversations with him were short and brief. Most did not have the patience to interpret his, often times, one-worded responses.

And though Hani was child-like, angering him was like signing your death sentence. (Besides, they had heard of that American soldier that tried to wake Hani up.*)

Tamaki was probably the only one out of the seven of them that seemed to be willing to make new friends, but Kyouya knew better. Even when Tamaki welcomed new people into the club, he still held them at arm's length because it was his job as Otou-san, he insisted, to protect Haruhi from the evils of the world.

Haruhi had rolled her eyes at that.

And Kyouya? Well, Kyouya had no intentions of becoming friends with idiots. Period.

(And, no, he does not consider Tamaki as an idiot. Does Tamaki do idiotic things? Yes, quite often, in fact, but if Tamaki was an idiot, he would not be one of the top two students in their year. Kyouya's first, obviously.)

But Kyouya understood the importance of having a facade, so he smiled at the boy in front of him who had invited him to go on a trip to meet the boy's uncle. "Thank you, but I'm afraid that I already have plans that day."

It wasn't exactly a lie. Kyouya just neglected to inform Tamaki that the Host Club would be allowed to go shopping, provided that they were given a budget. Normally, Kyouya would have refused such a request from Tamaki (they have servants, for god's sake. That's their job. It's what they're paid to do) but it appeared that he would have to accept it after all. No point in receiving hideously garish picks from Tamaki. He would also have to tell Haruhi that her presence would be needed on that day to keep the rest of the Host Club in check while they went shopping.

And if the boy, Takeo, tried to arrange for another day, Kyouya would have something else to do that day.

Takeo probably knew this, seeing as only he nodded. "Well, see you around."

"Whatever," Kyouya muttered. Takeo left, passing Tamaki, who nodded his head in acknowledgment, on his way out of the library.

"What were you talking about?" Tamaki asked as soon as he sat down. He reached into his bookbag, pulling out a textbook, some writing utensils, and paper.

"Nothing important. By the way, we will probably-"

"Kyo-chan! Tama-chan!"

He was interrupted by the arrival of the rest of the Host Club, specifically Hani, who all immediately captured the attention of the surrounding students.

The Host Club, formed officially in Kyouya's first year at senior high, courtesy of Tamaki, was famous not only for its' purpose, which was to entertain clients, but also the members of the club. When the club first debuted, no one could fathom how Tamaki had managed to convince the others to join him in his club. No one expected any of them to accept his invitation because, after all, it would be a waste of their time!

Not that the student body was complaining, but they couldn't help but wonder what Tamaki did to get Haruhi, Hikaru, Kaoru, Kyouya, Mori, and Hani to become hosts.

Though Kyouya was not entirely sure of the other hosts' reasons, he knew that he accepted because, mainly, it was a reason to show his father his capabilities. All the more reason to make him the heir of the Ootori Group.

Kyouya cleared his throat. "As I was saying, on Saturday, we will go to Ginza** in preparation to our upcoming cosplay."

Several nearby students (who had most definitely been eavesdropping on the Host Club's conversation) looked excited. The Host Club always looked amazing when they wore those costumes.

Haruhi, as expected, immediately protested. "I have stuff to do!"

"I'm sorry, Haruhi, but everyone's presence is required. Did you not think that the other hosts might have also had plans?"

Haruhi frowned. She had been looking forward to the upcoming Saturday. It was one of the few days she would've been momentarily free from the antics of the Host Club and that was about to disappear."But I have to get ready for the party later!"

"As do we."

"Can't Hikaru and Kaoru's mom design our cosplay costumes for us like she normally does?"

"We wouldn't get the costumes in time, and besides, Tamaki wants to have a family bonding time."

"It'll be fine, Haruhi," Hikaru interrupted. He was lounging lazily on his chair, annoyed that he would be pulled away from playing that new video game he and Kaoru got. He grinned as an idea suddenly came to him. "You can come to our house after we're done, and you can wear one of our designs to the event. We'll do your hair and makeup, too. Mom will probably help out as well."

"I think I'll pass," Haruhi said flatly.

Kyouya sighed. "Be that as it may, the fact remains that Tamaki will be there, and will most likely pick out our costumes."

He gave Haruhi a pointed look, and she looked down, biting her lip. If she wasn't there, Tamaki would almost definitely give her something frilly and pink and Kyouya would probably do nothing to dissuade him as payback for refusing to go. But did she really want to waste her afternoon shopping for costumes?

It was a struggle, but, eventually, practicality won, and Haruhi had to concede. There really was no way she was going to submit to Tamaki's perverted fantasy.

"Ooh, can we get cake, too?" Hani asked. Kyouya agreed but told Hani that they could get cake, but there would have to be a limit of five cakes at most, no exceptions. Hani looked disappointed that he wouldn't be able to get Kyouya to give him ten, but Mori reminded him that there would be cake waiting for him when he got home and that there would also be cake at the party, and Hani brightened at this.

"I suppose it's a necessary duty to prevent Tono from giving us ugly costumes. We're in," the twins said, ignoring Tamaki's cries of, " _My choices aren't_ that _bad!"_.

"Oh, but Hikaru," Kaoru cried out suddenly, "it'll cut into our time together."

Several girls stopped talking to look over in interest as the forbidden brotherly love played out.

"Oh Kaoru," Hikaru murmured, "I'll always have time for you."

Someone stood up to grab a tissue for their nose.

The twins leaned in close to each other, as though they were about to kiss each other.

Bodies fell as the scene became too much to look at.

"You guys," Haruhi chided.

They snickered and wrapped their arms around the female host, drawing the attention of a certain blond. "It's not our fault that we're irresistible. Girls love it."

She rolled her eyes but smiled affectionately. "The librarians will kick us out."

Kaoru snorted. "They can't kick us out."

He nuzzled her cheek. Tamaki's frozen features began to transform into that of a marble statue as he observed his "daughter" being corrupted by two evil doppelgängers.

"If the looks on their faces are anything to go by, I think they will," Haruhi said, nudging the younger twin.

The Tamaki-statue began to crumble.

"But Haruhi," Hikaru said, mouth close to Haruhi's ear, "I think they're enj-"

"You evil twins! Step away from my daughter right this instant! How dare you try and corrupt such innocence!"

Kyouya rubbed his temples at Tamaki's outburst. He had begun reading his assigned English book to answer the associated questions, which was hard enough without Tamaki, considering he sometimes needed to stop to translate everything into Japanese to understand what the hell the author was talking about. Had the book been on something like, say, finance, or business, Kyouya would have no trouble trying to decipher whatever was in the book. Instead, he was stuck with some novel about British boys stuck on an island turning into savages because they couldn't maintain order, or something like that.***

And, anyway, didn't Tamaki have work to do?

"Tamaki," Kyouya said calmly, though his eyes were anything but, "don't you have work on your math homework?"

He gestured towards Tamaki's unfinished calculations.

"Kyouya!" Tamaki gasped. "How can you be thinking of homework at a time like this? When our only daughter is being perverted by these unscrupulous twins? Are you, too, perhaps, thinking of twisted, corrupt thoughts like our sons?"

"We have names, you know, and we aren't your sons, either."

' _Twisted and corrupt thoughts?_ ' mused Kyouya. Well, Tamaki wasn't far off from the truth; Kyouya was definitely planning a certain someone's demise for causing a less than perfect homework assignment. Kyouya decided to take a more diplomatic path before doing anything, though. "Haruhi is neither my, nor your, daughter, and, if you haven't realized yet, _some_ of us are working, so I would advise you to do the same."

His tone held no room for argument, so Tamaki reluctantly complied, though not without shooting a glare in the directions of Hikaru and Kaoru.

Tamaki pouted. "Okaa-san, you can be so mean sometimes."

Kyouya ignored Tamaki, returning back to his book, satisfied that there would be peace and quiet once more.

xxxxx

 ***See** _**Honey's Three Bitter Days!**_

 ****Some very upscale street in Tokyo, home to many expensive shops and brands.**

 *****Anyone know what book I'm talking about?**

 **a/n: Just a heads up, my schedule is a bit hectic these days, so I can't promise I can update regularly, but I will try to push to finish a bit of the next chapter everyday.**

 **And Hani and Mori will definitely be getting more speaking roles onwards(okay, maybe not so much with Mori).**


End file.
